So we go through endless measures
to hide our trichotillomania.
Telling anyone about trichotillomania is especially difficult.
There is no questioning that.
So, what’s the best way,
how do you tell someone you have trichotillomania?
Looking back, I realized more recently I took a different approach
when it came to telling a boyfriend or a good friend or a family
member that I had trichotillomania. What approach is that?
I came out about trichotillomania with CONFIDENCE.
It took me a very long time to come out about trichotillomania
with the confidence that I have been in most recent years.
But doing so really made me realize the more confident I was telling a boyfriend,
a close friend or a family member that I had trichotillomania,
the less they questioned me about it and were way more open
to learning that I had this “trich” thing.
It reminded me about another life lesson I experienced a couple years ago.
At the time, I was selling cars. At this point, I had been selling cars for about 9 months,
and I was still having a bit of trouble in one particular area….I would get so nervous
when it came to presenting my customers with the monthly payment
on the car that they saw and drove.
I was GREAT with people, people really felt comfortable with me,
but when it came to presenting monthly payment figures, I lost them.
I found myself losing out on closing these deals on the spot,
they wanted to go home and think or whatever.
But, I remember, with great distinction, the moment that it all clicked.
I had to exude confidence, because if I was confident presenting the numbers
that the customers asked me to get for them,
they would have confidence in me and would be confident
making the decision to take home their new car.
I remember that very moment, walking back to my desk, and I remember
sitting down with a confident smile.
Instead of quietly going over the numbers on the piece of paper in a questioning demeanor,
I did so with absolute confidence, making eye contact,
believing in what information I was presenting the customers.
And just like that, it was the confidence that I exuded that made
the customer feel confident enough to make the decision to take that car home.
They heard it in my voice, saw it in my face, felt it in their gut.
Confidence in the presentation.
Similarly, I have been very questioning in the way I would have come out about trich.
It probably might have sounded more like I was asking them if I had it rather
then telling them that I had it. I might have not made eye contact,
I might have said it uncomfortably.
And the person that is on the receiving end of that information
would be just as uneasy based on my own cues!
I have been dating my boyfriend now for a little over a year.
This time around, telling him about trichotillomania was going to be different.
Early on into our seeing each other,
I told him that I had trichotillomania with nonchalant complete and utter unwavering confidence.
What was my boyfriend’s response? Oh cool. And onto the next topic.
He never questioned me, looked at me weird, or asked me
“why don’t you just stop pulling your eyelashes and eyebrows”…
…he accepted what I was telling him because I accept,
with confidence, that trich is just a thing I have,
but it doesn’t take away from any of what makes me awesome.
I own my awesomeness,
and you, too, can emanate that trichotillomania is just a part of you,
something that makes you unique, gives you an allure, you are special and pragmatic.
Do you think confidence can change the way you might tell someone about having trichotillomania?